Profiles: Father Jay Fostner |
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Compassion and Caring Must Not Change
Father Jay was a senior in high school when the idea of priesthood as a possible life path suggested itself to him. The serendipitous circumstances reflect a favorite scriptural passage: “You didn’t choose me; I have chosen you.” (John 15:216) Father Jay’s eighth grade CCD teacher saw his former pupil working at a Green Bay retail store and suggested he drop around some time to catch up on the last four years. The night the young man followed up on the invitation, his parish priest was visiting also. “Have you ever thought about being a priest,” the associate pastor asked. Actually, no. “You should really move into the rectory to see what it’s like,” the priest suggested. Why not? Father Jay’s parents were out of town for the summer and the boy was living alone, so he moved into the St. Agnes rectory in Green Bay. “(The associate pastor) basically was on vacation. We played golf, and I thought, “This is a pretty good life; I have to check this out a little bit more...’” They talked; the priest took his protégé to visit the College of St. Thomas and St. John Vianney Seminary in Minnesota. Father Jay decided to try it. “I loved it; it was one of the best years of my life.” The euphoria, however, was short-lived. Coming back to Green Bay, Father Jay realized the things he and the priest had talked about, such as coming together as a community, would not happen. “I would end up in a parish by myself.” It was the early 1980’s and vocations to the priesthood were in the decline. He was still interested, but did not think life as a diocesan priest would work for him. Then he met a Norbertine at a social event and laid out the dilemma. The priest’s advice: “You need to come check us out.” Father Jay did. He conferred with the Order’s vocations director who suggested the young man take a year off and be a “normal” college student before joining, “a wise decision.” A year later, Father Jay was back. As a priest, he also wanted to teach. Could he do that? “When I heard that you could both teach and be a priest, I thought, “This is what it’s all about.’” The decision was made. As a seminarian, Father Jay finished his undergraduate degree in psychology from St. Norbert College, graduating cum laude in 1984. In the years before and after ordination in 1988, Father Jay taught at Premontre High School, was a teacher and administrator (Campus Minister) at Notre Dame Academy, and served as chaplain at a Green Bay hospital. He also completed graduate studies in theology (1988). Although he loved teaching high school, he realized he really wanted to move up to the next level and teach college. That meant graduate school. “I bless (Abbot Jerry Tremel) every morning I wake up. He said,, ‘Don’t step on to the (St. Norbert) college campus without your doctorate.’”
Besides teaching psychology classes at St. Norbert College, he serves the campus as a practicing clinical psychologist and was named the Counseling Center’s director in 2001. Counseling has replaced the classroom as Father Jay’s first love, but he likes the variety his duties afford him. “I do a little administration, a little counseling, a little teaching; all is well.” He also is on-call several nights a month as a crisis/emergency chaplain at a local hospital. When he is not in the classroom, in counseling sessions, or at the hospital, students seek him out at St. Norbert College. He provides a spiritual presence to the students. A 10 p.m. Mass in Mary Minahan McCormick Residence Hall once a week draws many more students - “sometimes in pajamas” - than a liturgy previously held at the same time in Old St. Joseph’s Church. He is available to the students, consciously applying the meaning of another favorite passage he paraphrases from John: (15:13) “The best gift you can give is to lay down your life for a friend.” It is what Father Jay strives to do in his ministry, be it in a counseling session, the classroom, or just greeting students as they pass by. |
When Father Jay Fostner gets up in the morning, he feels fulfilled and happy with his life as a Norbertine. He likes the people he lives with, is comfortable with them and, as the years go on, grows closer and closer to them. He is happy, too, that the Order allows him to maintain ties with his family - a close knit group - as well as with other friends outside the Norbertine community.
During graduate and postgraduate studies in psychology, Father Jay’s internship experiences in a variety of settings covered a broad range of human experiences. He received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the California School of Professional Psychology in Alameda, California, in 1997. He is also certified in pastoral counseling.
In his own life, balancing community, work, and time for reading and reflection is an on-going challenge. Though he participates in prayer and table at the Priory, he finds he is not with the community members as much as he would like. “I love everybody and we all get along,” but there are four or five with whom he is especially good friends.