Father Tim Shillcox, O. Praem.

The Call to Vocation was Worth the Wait

Fr. Tim Shillcox once wondered how a degree in studio art would help him as a priest. He has since discovered that being an artist helps the way he ministers. Viewing a favorite painting, for example, suggests material for homilies. And an enlargement of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” provided a backdrop for the Christmas crèche at Holy Cross Parish, Bay Settlement, where Fr. Tim ministered from 1992 until 2003.

He taught art at Premontre High School in Green Bay for four years before joining the Norbertines in 1981, heeding the call first heard many years earlier. Back in grade school, Fr. John Van Deuren, the assistant pastor at St. Pius X parish in Appleton, Wis., stirred the possibility of priesthood. Transferred when Fr. Tim was in sixth grade, the priest and his prophetic parting words, “Perhaps I’ll see you in the seminary,” struck a chord: “I think I’d like to be like him.”

For a long time, vocation as teacher overshadowed vocation as priest. Through a maternal uncle, Fr. Glen Siebers, O. Praem., Fr. Tim saw the possibility of teacher and priest. But what about parish? What about weekends?

“It seemed like the parish was the basic nugget of the Church and the priesthood had to be somewhat connected to the weekend…” As a college student at Lawrence University in Appleton, Wis., he considered life as a Capuchin, “but I was just too scared to make any decision.”

But he finished college and procrastinated further; he would teach a few years first. But when he graduated, no one needed an art teacher. Finally, a letter from Premontre High School – there was an opening. Fr. Tim applied; he got the job.

At Premontre, he met the Norbertines; about two dozen priests and seminarians lived and worked there at that time. Several took the “new guy” under their wing and included him in their activities.

“That’s where I got to understand that community life was an overlay on the priesthood that would enrich both parts; that community made celibacy possible and…(act as) a corrective to loneliness or isolation.” Priesthood in the context of community, he realized, “was a whole different life.”

At Premontre, he also discovered concelebration. Seeking the quiet of the chapel early one morning, he encountered seventeen priests around the altar and realized they were starting their day with Mass. It was an “incredibly beautiful” image he still carries with him.

During his second year of teaching, a Norbertine, Fr. David Komatz, asked the young teacher if he had ever thought of the priesthood. A lot, in fact, but he was “scared and didn’t know what to do.” He connected with the vocations director, Fr. Gene Gries, but it was another two-and-a-half years before Fr. Tim said, “Okay, can I have an application?”

He professed simple vows in 1983, made his solemn profession three years later, and was ordained in June 1987. His preparation included graduate studies in theology and part-time teaching at Premontre, where he taught a total of ten years: four as a layman, two as a frater and four as a priest. He also worked there as a guidance counselor in student services and in conducting retreats.

In the thirty years since he entered the community, Fr. Tim has seen some major changes.

The biggest one: “We’re not in secondary education anymore… Priests or seminarians not being in classrooms is a loss.” Interaction with young people fuels ideas for preaching and helps keep the approach down-to-earth.

The Order has also gotten older. And, while fewer priests are teaching, there is a “greater openness to our being parish priests and pastors… I still think the parish is the basic nugget… My hope is that the pastoral shepherding model of Christ will prevail as role in the community and in the Church.” He would like to see more Norbertines involved in public parish ministry.

Because he values sharing community with his confreres, Fr. Tim commuted fourteen miles between the priory in De Pere and the parish. For his first three years as pastor there, he lived at the parish.

“I never had my own house before. The house looked out over the bay, and I thought, ‘Hey, this is a dream.’” Then he found he was working late, eating alone and skipping private prayer. Working at his desk one Saturday night, something clicked: “This is no life… I’ve lived with community at the priory since 1995 and I love it.”

The daily commute – often by bike – “is decompression…it’s prayer; it’s leaving it behind or getting ready for it.” He’s also lost the forty pounds he gained eating junk food while living alone!

The rationale underlying community runs deeper than a better, balanced lifestyle, however. Living together in community and trying to get along, after all, is the Order’s number one ministry.

“It comes right from the Rule of St. Augustine… It was a conversion (for me) to get to that.” He joined the Norbertines to be a priest.

 “Then I began to realize as a baptized Christian I want to be [a] brother in community who happens to be called to be a priest. And the community sustains my remaining a priest.”

Admittedly, there are times, “as in many families, the guys drive me nuts. They don’t see things my way and I think, ‘What’s the matter with them?’ But even that keeps us going.”

What makes the Order unique is the balance put forth by both Augustine and Norbert.

 “It’s not just a lone ranger priest doing all sorts of great work alone; it’s a group of priests and brothers realizing they need each other in prayer and at table and underlying friendship to keep going. Otherwise, both celibacy and ministry get unhealthy…”

“…It seems like one of the big issues (for people considering vocations) is around celibacy… For young people to see the community life as one of the things that directly speaks to the celibate commitment in keeping it healthy is important. I don’t think we’ve said that enough. “If celibacy is a roadblock, young man, check out how community speaks to that in terms of healthy, non-exclusive, fraternal relationships that are enjoyable (with) shared mission, shared prayer.”

Recent scandals among Catholic clergy and the resulting Zero Tolerance policy are a concern.

“My fear is that Zero Tolerance is being equated in the popular perception as Zero Forgiveness. Like there is some unforgivable sin that I can stay mad at and feel good about not forgiving. And that’s not of Christ.”

Staying angry does not help anyone. “Being angry and not wanting to forgive is part of the moment, but you can’t stay there… Forgiveness is possible even though right now you don’t want to think about it.”

While grappling with the community/apostolate and action/contemplation dichotomies, Fr. Tim adds one more division to the mix: pastor/community. A scheduled house meeting, for example, conflicts with parish responsibilities and misunderstandings happen. “When I yin, somebody else yangs.” It is a commitment that makes it work.

Though he was happy in the classroom, Fr. Tim considers parish ministry his “dream job… I like the parish because it’s all ages, all situations; people invite you in to happiness and sadness… Seeing people grow, listening to people’s confessions and seeing their tears.” That kind of people involvement is important and humbling.

He has known fulfillment in each of his ministries, including serving on Notre Dame Academy’s board of education, six years on the Abbot’s Council, assisting in the Abbey’s formation process, teaching and parish pastor, now serving at the Norbertine parish Our Lady of Lourdes in Green Bay. Within all those positions, some moments are more precious than others.

“There are times like at the altar holding up the host and looking around to see people focusing…with all their energy…that just bring you to tears. ‘God, I’m doing what you created me to do.’”

Wondering why it took him so long to decide his vocation, he is thankful it did. Without the maturity, the life experiences and coping skills he learned along the way, “I’d have been scared out of it if I’d come in on time.”

At age 27 when he entered, Fr. Tim was 33 when he was ordained.

“My Golden Jubilee will be a little later than the other guys!”

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